This post is a guest contribution from Drtij.
The moment you decide to combine meat with smoke, it’s like somebody has informed on you to a committee of middle aged men who must specially convene to determine the worthiness of your endeavor. Everything from your choice of wood, equipment, and cut will be henpecked and ultimately dismissed by these self-appointed zealots. I find this discouraging attitude, pervasive in smoking culture, to be ultimately destructive and oppressive. Nobody can give you permission to smoke meats, for it is a right you have always held. For these reasons let me say this: the only bad smoked meats are the meats you were too afraid to smoke. “Do I need to buy a new smoker?” “What wood should I buy?” These questions serve to procrastinate and should wait until you have been smoking meats for awhile. Stop thinking and start doing.
One such “keeper of the flame” even told us that leaving the bark on would impart undesirable bitterness to our product. This bro probably removes the seeds from poblano peppers like a fussy child. Go to Franklin’s, go to Lockhart. Do you see 7th generation barbecue artisans carefully peeling bark from the cords sitting in the on-deck circle? Does their barbecue taste bad? No? Then stop telling other people what to do.
I just built a great smoker out of components I already owned. A small Weber grill last used when we lived in Manhattan was collecting dust. A gifted bullet smoker always cooked too hot. It took only $12 worth of aluminum piping to construct a chimney connecting the two. I’m thinking about adding a small fan beneath it to improve airflow. The smoke that exits doesn’t feel much hotter than the air outside. I could even smoke cheese or fish with this thing. If this seems elaborate, keep in mind that the kind of long grills favored by suburban peeps work great too, even if they smoke a little warmer.
I’ve never bought wood for smoking in my life. Take a drive around the Avenue Xes and Nimby Streets of Hyde Park and you can fill your Car2Go with enough freshly cut curbside hardwood to last a lifetime. However, let’s be real. My neighbor’s dying pecan tree drops termited spongewood into our backyard that work just as well. Furthermore, I’ve even experimented with poisonous chinaberrys and suffered no ill effects. The best bacon resulted after I tried, and failed, to start smoking from a pipe. The tin of unused, expensive tobacco resulted in a refined taste I can only describe as flavorcountry.
A sledge and a wedge work best to break down whole logs. But my Dad wanted his hammer back, so all I have is his axe. This takes a lot longer but also constitutes one of the only forms of exercise afforded to me by my yuppie lifestyle. Henry Stamper I’m not.
This film adaptation of “Sometimes a Great Notion” was never finished.
Don’t worry, Biscuits of Today will not become another insufferable “lifestyle porn” couples blog. Meredith will be back soon to stave off violent retributions from AFBA quota enforcers. Recipe time– I’m OUT.
The Devils Eggs (feeds 1 weirdbro in 2 sittings; freestyled from FN)
2 oz. tin of anchovies
1 tbsp harissa paste or Sriracha sauce
1 tbsp Mayo
1 tsp Louisiana style hot sauce
1 tsp mustard seeds
1 tsp Szechuan pepper
3 grated or minced garlic cloves
Boil eggs for 10 minutes; and peel them. If you are using yuppie-eggs make sure they aren’t too fresh or they won’t peel well.
Cold-smoke them for about 1 hour.
Slice lengthwise and put the yolks in a bowl. Add mayo, vinegar, harissa, garlic, and drained anchovy oil to the yolks. Grind in the Szechuan pepper and mustard seeds. Mix thoroughly and add back into the whites. Garnish each with half a toasted anchovy filet if you choose.
Harness strong, unbalanced flavors to attract weirdbros.